1.      A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results, through success and accomplishment. Achieve goals and prove his competence and feel good about  himself.

1.       A woman's sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships. They spend much time supporting, nurturing and helping each other.

2.      To feel good about himself, men must achieve goals by themselves. 

2.      Talking, sharing and relating is how a woman feels good about herself.

3.      In general, men are more interested in objects and things

3.      In general, men are more interested in people and feelings.

4.      Men are more logical, analytical, rational.

4.      Women are more intuitive, holistic, creative, integrative.

5.      Men hate to ask for help because it shows they are a failure.

5.      For women, taking help is not a sign of weakness but, a sign of caring to give or take support.

6.      The most frequent complain men have about women:  Women are always trying to change them.

6.      The most frequent complaint women have about men: Men don't listen.

7.      men usually offer solutions

7.      Women want empathy

8.      Men always assume women want advice and solutions to problems, that that is the best way to be helpful and to show love.

8.      Women often just want someone to sincerely listen to them.

9.      Men avoid Housework. Try to get others to do it at all costs, feel demeaned by doing it.

9.      For women, cleanliness of house is a manifestation of warm, homey nest.

2. A man appreciates advice and criticism when it is requested. Men want to make improvements when they feel they are being approached as a solution to a problem rather than as the problem itself.

3. Men have great needs for status and independence (emphasis on separate and different); women have needs for intimacy and connection (emphasis on close and same).

4. Women need to receive caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance.

5. Women are motivated when they feel special or cherished.

6. Men need to receive trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, encouragement.

7. Men are motivated when they feel needed.   A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or not competent enough, though he may never express this.

SUMMARY 

1. There are major, significant differences between men and women.

2. The differences are different, NOT better or worse.  Do not judge the differences.  Do not try to change the differences.   Do not try to make them go away.

3. These are generalizations! Individual differences exist; we all have some of these qualities.

4. To get along, you MUST accept, expect and respect these differences.

5. Be sure to remember these differences when communicating about anything important, when expressing care and concern, and when solving conflicts.